My Birth Story
- Primal Motherhood
- May 30, 2019
- 9 min read
When I got pregnant, I started to develop this picture in my mind of what my birth was going to be like, it’s a beautiful moment where you bond with your husband and you can finally meet this little bundle of joy that has been growing and developing inside you. I talked with friends, I did a bunch of research, I listened to a bunch of mama podcasts, and yes, I watched a bunch of birthing videos.
Our little bundle of joy was due on February 21, 2018, I remember the weeks leading up to our due date it was filled with so many emotions. We were excited to meet our little one, we were ready for this new challenge in our life (or so we thought), I wanted this baby out, due to being so uncomfortable, my ribs were target practice for his feet!
Birth Plan
At our 38 week check up, my husband and I sat in my doctors office and reviewed my birth plan. I knew from talking with friends and all my research, that I needed to be flexible with labor. But, I wanted my doctor, my husband, and I to be on the same page. I wanted a natural labor, I was in a good mindset of a natural labor, I knew there was going to pain and lots of it, but I could do it!
My Birth Plan consisted of:
During Birth
NO induction
NO medication
I want my water to break naturally
NO episiotomy unless necessary for baby’s safety
NO medical interventions, unless necessary
For pain relief, I wanted a massage, birthing ball, hot bath
After Birth:
My husband cuts umbilical cord
Bonding time with baby after birth, at least an hour of no interruption
Immediate skin-to-skin
NO visitors
Well, that birth plan looked good on paper, but our little one had different ideas of coming into the world. My husband and I went to my doctors office on February 21st, they check my weight, my blood pressure, and I start to see a little worry on the nurses face. She says your blood pressure is a little elevated, I’m going to check it again. Immediate panic! She waits for 5 minutes and she checks it again, still a little elevated (I can’t remember the numbers). My doctor walks into the office and she said she was sending me to the hospital. MORE PANIC (which probably doesn’t help my blood pressure). She told me to go home, shower, eat something, get our bags, and go to the hospital. They were going to monitor me and run some tests and then if any of the tests come back abnormal, they were going to induce me that night. (WHAT?? First thing on my birth plan NO INDUCTION!) My husband and I went to the hospital, I was monitored for an hour and then they sent me home, all good (Whew!!)
The next day I called my doctor and told her what happened and she said that I am going to have to come in daily to continue to get my blood pressure monitored and she wanted to induce me on Friday morning, this is already not going as planned! I told her I would have to talk with my husband, I really don’t want to be induced. I talked with my husband and we both came up with the conclusion that due to my blood pressure, I need to be induced, and I’m starting to go past my due date. So we inform our doctor and schedule the induction for February 23rd at 7:00am (My husband’s birthday!)
In the meantime, I’m doing everything to induce labor naturally, massage, essential oils, walking, walking, and more walking, and lots and lots of yoga. I was unsuccessful.
MY BIRTH STORY
On February 23rd we entered the hospital, I got checked in to be induced, I remember feeling excited, nervous, anxious, all the feelings that we should feel when we are having a baby. This was already not going as planned, but I was really trying to stay optimistic. By the time I got checked into the hospital and into the room it was about 9:30am, 10:00am is when they started the medication for induction, (it wasn’t Pitocin at this time). Within an hour, I started to feel dull contractions and they were coming at a pretty consistent pace, they were about 3-5 minutes apart. Since I was having consistent contractors the doctors didn’t want to give me any more medication at this point and wait for my body to respond. I was only 2cm dilated, I knew I had a long way to go. I was trying everything I could at this point in my labor. I was bouncing on the birthing ball, squats, walking, etc, nothing was working!
This went on until about 7:00pm that night, my doctor came in and talked with me and couldn’t believe that I wasn’t progressing. My contractions were consistent but I was still 2cm dilated after 9 hours of labor. She talked with me about using a Foley Bulb to help me dilate, at this point I was getting desperate and my contractions were becoming a little more intense. A Foley Bulb is when your doctor inserts a catheter into your cervix. One side of the catheter is deflated. Once inside your womb, your doctor inflates the balloon with a saline solution. This puts pressure on your cervix and encourages dilation. After she did this, she said she wanted to start Pitocin, (all I’ve heard horror stories about Pitocin and I didn’t want it, but I knew I didn’t have many options at this point.) Well, within about 30 minutes of the Pitocin, I started to feel the pain. It felt like my contractions were never ended and I had so much pressure all down my legs, I wasn’t comfortable. The Foley Bulb worked and I GOT TO 4CM DILATED!!!
About 2:30am, my doctor came back in and said I still am not progressing in my labor. Contractions continue to get more intense, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t get comfortable, every time I wanted to move, I had to call the nurse in to help, and I was starting to get frustrated with my body, with the doctors, and with the entire situation. My doctor said “We can break your water?” I was hesitant, that wasn’t part of my birth plan. Then I wrapped my head around it that my birth plan is slowly going out the window. We need to do what we need to do to get this baby out healthy. I’m hitting 16.5 hours in labor at this point and it's starting to get INTENSE! My doctor gives me the warning that once they break my water I have a limited time to deliver the baby, because of the risk of infection. I said, I understood and gave the consent. She broke my water, then concern started to set in. I barely had any fluid, she asked if my water could have broken earlier and I said, “I don’t think so.” I was new to this, I didn’t know what was going on. The monitoring continued to increase and the Pitocin dosage went higher.
At 6:30am, a nurse came in to check to see if I was progressing. I was still only 4cm dilated. It was coming up on 20.5 hours of labor. I was emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. The Pitocin was increasing my labor pains, but my body was not wanting to cooperate. The doctor came in and said they are starting to feel the babies hair! I was like WHAT??? I’m only 4 CM, this baby can’t come. He was trying to get out, my body just wasn’t cooperating. At this time the nurse told me I have 8-10 hours, if I progress, before I start pushing. I thought to myself, there is no way I can do this. I gave in and asked for the Epidural. Turns out this was the greatest thing that I could have ever asked for. I could finally rest.
Throughout the day, the nurses and doctors came in to check, still no progression. I was just letting the doctors and nurses take control of the situation because I knew that everything that I said I didn’t want to happen in my birth was happening, so I had to give up that control.
About 3:30pm my doctor came back in to start talking to me about options because my water broke and the baby needed to come soon. I talked her into giving me another hour and then we can discuss a C-Section, this was last possible option! Looking back on this now, my stubbornness could have put my babies health and my health in jeopardy.
4:00pm, is when my labor took a turn for the worst. At this point I was shaking really bad (like I had shivers that I couldn’t get rid of), I was put on oxygen, my blood pressure was spiking, my temperature was spiking, and the nurses faces start turning from friendly to worried. The doctor came back in and said that infection was setting in. She was telling me that they need to get the baby out right away and they were going to start preparing me for a C-Section. She was telling me that my baby had to be in the NICU to be treated for this infection and had to be on Antibiotics for 72 hours. I still get emotional thinking about this today, why did I have to be so stubborn?
The nurses start preparing me, and I remember this one nurse that was so sweet. I was crying (good for my already escalated blood pressure) and she was trying to calm me down. She explained everything to me in detail and assured me that it was going to be okay. They are taking me down the hall while the anesthesiologist was explaining medications to me and putting medications in my IV. It felt like within minutes of getting into the OR I heard the doctor say “making the first cut.” I didn’t know where my husband was, I asked for him and he walked in. After that we had a healthy, screaming, baby boy at 7lbs 2oz 20.5” long. I was able to do cheek to cheek with Daxton then he was taken down to the NICU where he had to have IV Antibiotics for 72 hours, which ended up being the hardest 72 hours that we have faced to date. When they pulled Daxton away from my cheek, I started getting sick. I was throwing up on the anesthesiologist, they were taking my baby away.
POSTPARTUM
After my C-Section, my baby was in the NICU, I maybe got 5 minutes with him. I was in the recovery room, my blood pressure continued to spike. They had to start me on a Magnesium drip because they were afraid of seizures and stroke at this point. I was in recovery for what felt like a lifetime. (It was probably around 2-3 hours). My blood pressure just wasn’t coming down and the magnesium made me feel like I was in a daze. They finally said they could take me down to the NICU to see my baby for a little bit. I remember being taken into the NICU in my bed and looking around at all the babies, so small and fragile. Daxton was in the “most intense” wing because that is where all the babies started. I remember thinking, my baby doesn’t belong here! I wasn’t able to hold Dax that night, it was so hard to just look at your child and not even be able to give him that love. I carried him for 9 months and then all of a sudden I wasn’t able to hold him? I spent maybe 2 minutes in the NICU and then they took me up to my room. I was in the acute care unit due to needing to be treated with Antibiotics for infection and for the magnesium drip because of my blood pressure.
We got to the room, without my baby. The nurses handed me this pump and said, “You should start pumping.” I didn’t know what to do, remember I’ve never done this before. I felt like I was thrown to the wolves! The next morning I wake up, sore, tired, exhausted, and I get a call in my room from the NICU. “Your baby is crying, you need to come down here to feed him.” I didn’t know what to do. I haven’t even held my baby yet, I can’t even walk! I get pushed down to the NICU and hold my baby for the first time, the nurse came up to me and said you can start breastfeeding now. Again, I had no idea what I was doing. She said she will call lactation, “because you don’t know what you’re doing,” of course I don’t I’ve never done this before. (I’ll talk about breastfeeding journey later).
My recovery started to get better after they took me off the Magnesium drip, I felt like I could think and I wasn’t living in a daze. Dax spent almost 3 days in the NICU and was finally transferred up to our room. The first time was hard because we were having problems with breastfeeding and Dax was up every 30 minutes. I honestly, just wanted to be home in our house and not bothered by the nurses and have my husband and I figured this new life out as parents.
After 6 days in the hospital (counting labor), we finally got home. It felt good to be home with our new baby. This is where the real journey began.
I’m a planner and a control freak. Daxton taught me within the first couple hours of labor that he’s going to control the situation.
My advice for all expecting mothers is you can only plan so much, don’t let your own personal agenda get in the way of your health or your baby's health. Let the doctors and your body control the situation, because at the end of the day that's the way it’s going to be. My birth wasn’t at all what was on my birth plan, but I have a healthy, happy, thriving, little boy that gives us so much love everyday and my birth is a part of how he got here and entered the world. Ready to take it on with everything he’s got!
Let me ask you, did you have a birth plan? Did it go according to plan? I’d love to hear from you. Comment below.
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